Patient Money – How to Navigate the Learning Disabilities System – NYTimes.com.

This information sheet from the American Speech Language Hearing Association gives the developmental milestones for speech from ages 1-5 as well as ways parents and caregivers can help children build language skills.

How Does Your Child Hear and Talk?.

Here are a few book resources, which link to Amazon.

Semantec Corp, an internet security group did a study on what children search for on the internet.  Reuters published an article about the results, which indicate that children search for terms like “sex” and “porn” in the top 10 of searches.  Of courses these same kids are also searching for terms like “Miley Cyrus” and “Club Penguin.”

Children are curious, and like the rest of us quickly learn to ask the computer questions they want answers to.  Explaining to children the danger online may draw them toward it, and monitoring every move may make them believe they cannot be trusted.  Surely there is not a fast and true rule that works for every family.  However, some form of open communication, monitoring and talking is needed.

Children use Web to watch videos, look up sex | Technology | Reuters.

I did not see homework till junior high, never did any till high school and still managed to get in to grad school with flying colors.  Children today are doing 2-3 hours of homework in the third grade.  8 year olds are too young to have full time jobs (6 hours plus homework– forget sports).  It’s no wonder that kids who have to study a bit more abhor school, and those that are involved in sports don’t have time to work.

Which is great and all, except that honestly, you could easily end up with a child who has never had to be alone with themselves until they get a license.  Which is a bit alarming.  Sometimes I wonder  that all of the outside demands from multiple channels of technology and financial demands on parents don’t put a special pressure on today’s children.  With the passive entertainment of video games and texting always available, how is a teenager supposed to find their own identity?

I can never quite place my finger on the problem.  But there is so much, well, worship of young children going on in this society… and then the booting of them from the nest unprepared seems so sudden.  Given that shift happens.

Check it out. It’s worth 8 minutes.

The site also offered helpful information related child and senior care.  Many adults are now caring for children and aging parents- finding caregivers and information on how to care for aging parents is an unexpected challenge.

I do consider a child’s ability to self-soothe, relax, and calm their own mind to be a necessity. In a therapy environment- handling a child’s clinical anxiety or trauma response involves a bit more skill than can be learned in a single book or tape. Living a balanced life (homework/play/exercise/friends/family/good nutrition) is also extremely important in how a child handles stress.

That being said, when I am asked to recommend resources for parents, therapists, or teachers- I almost always recommend the series of stories by Maureen Garth(below). They are meant to be relaxing stories read out loud to children by a parent or caregiver, and children like them. I have recommended them for years- even while working in a children’s oncology unit. Some are even published in Spanish.

I do not have any current CD’s I recommend for children. I know many families have favorite calming music they use to help soothe their kids at night or on trips etc. If you are looking for a children’s relaxation CD or guided imagery for children, you can search Amazon and preview some of their selections Children’s Meditations. Adults may want to check out Relaxation and Meditation iMix on iTunes

Below are the books available at Amazon or at your local bookseller.

Parents may be tempted to replace a fish that died, or tell a child that an elderly neighbor moved away when they actually died- or instead minimize a child’s grief by minimizing the importance of an absent loved one or friend who moved away. An alternative way to look at these normal losses of childhood would be as an opportunity to deal with sadness and grief and handle difficult emotions in a way that prepares them to handle even more difficult situations that come with life. Sometimes I think in trying to protect our children from pain we actually may be raising adults who believe all pain is to be avoided and who have no tools to handle losses that come with relationships, age, illness, and life.

There are of course exceptions- children who have been traumatized, experiencing depression, or are in the middle of grieving (loss of a parent etc) may not be able to handle dealing with other losses as well. In other words, use good judgment about what you expose your child to.

When a child is grieving the parents can help by:

1. Help your child understand in a developmental way what has happened-use language, pictures, books that your child can understand and that is not frightening.
2. Allow the child to express their emotions in an appropriate way and accept the emotions without judgment. Yes, even in grief it is still not okay to hit others. Talking, drawing, and expressing themselves without hurting others is great. Also be prepared for little or no emotion at first. Children show emotions differently and their facial expressions are not those of adults. If your child seems “not to care” it may be that they are overwhelmed or cannot take in the information.
3. Reassure the child and be prepared to answer questions multiple times over.
4. Help the child participate in some kind of goodbye ritual-so they can “do” something. This may be going to a funeral, having a funeral for a pet, planting a tree, letting a balloon go etc.
5. Invest in the future incorporating a positive memory from the lost one. If you have planted a tree, then every time you look at the tree growing you might think of that person. Other ideas might be to make a memory book, draw pictures, or to keep in contact with people that move.

Some other resources are:

Online

The Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Their Families Non-profit organization related to grieving and children. They have online resources and activities for children, teens and parents who are grieving.

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry- Information Sheet Information sheet about how children grieve.

Books

Activities that require creativity and an active mind are art- painting, drawing, clay, play-doh as well as constructive/building activities like sand play, legos, and blocks etc. These kinds of arts and construction play involve creativity and the ability for a child to self entertain. Rather than make a specific craft or project it is great to let kids use their imagination with blank paper, glue, duct tape or whatever is on hand and create and play with what is in their minds.

Video games and television present a particular challenge for parents. Video games- even though they do require some participation- are not the same as creative play activities. However, they can teach turn taking and also now can encourage physical activity. For those of you who have not had the privilege of throwing your shoulder out playing wii bowling or baseball… you will have to trust me on this.

As a child therapist I love toys and art supplies. I have toys and art supplies “for days” and if you need a recommendation, feel free to ask.

Art supplies can be expensive but significant savings can be achieved by purchasing seasonally, buying online when free shipping offers are available, and looking for savings coupons for local craft stores.

Think Kids

Check it Out…