I was running errands this morning – out of the area- I might add, and I got the opportunity to overhear some moms discussing the educational opportunities for their children. They were strangers to each other and to me, grocery store line kind of conversation, the kind where several women just start chatting.
The pros and cons of public verses private schools was the topic. Which schools fed into which high schools and how to determine which private schools had the highest AP scores for college admissions. It was a very intense discussion. These moms clearly wanted to give their children the best possible start in life and had researched these issues very carefully- where they were going to live, what activities their children participated in even hiring educational consultants.
And then one of them mentioned their child’s age – 5. And then they all mentioned their kids ages- the oldest one was in the 4th grade. I almost said something. I am not sure what, but something.
I certainly have seen my fair share of kids in the practice from public and private schools whose parents have gone to as much effort at choosing schools as these moms had. Some of these kids have done very very well and others not so much. With homework often lasting 2 hours even for children in the 3rd or 4th grade, kids have completed an 8 hour work day just with school and homework when they are 9 and 10 years old. Not to mention the soccer, dance, and music.
Since it is no longer safe in most neighborhoods to let younger kids play unsupervised, I often see kids at 11/12/13 who really have never spent a moment of playtime without parental supervision. On one hand, this is good, kids need to be supervised in todays world. On the other hand, when I was 12 my friend babysat her 3 younger brothers and we figured out what peaceful, non-litigious conflict resolution was sans parental involvement (because if a grown-up had to solve it, it was not going our way). Now- we have public schools where children are not allowed to compete or keep score during kickball (there are no winners and losers) but then play highly competitive, expensive “club sports” after school. go figure.
It might have been easier to listen to this conversation, I suppose, if someone had mentioned what their child liked or did not like, or their child’s own natural pace of doing things. In wanting to give children the best life has to offer, I wonder if we have overlooked some of what childhood offers.